05-04-2008, 10:20 PM
Filed under: Just for moms, Pregnancy and birth, Playground bureauMy nephew was born last December, a delicious addition to my brother's family. Whenever I see him, which is not often enough, I nuzzle the folds in his neck, breathing deep his new-baby smell. I work hard to make him smile and laugh -- he's four months old after all, just learning to chortle -- and I fawn over his baby fingers and toes. I do this because I love him, because he grows fast between visits. But I also do it to test myself, to see how I feel when I have to give him back to his parents. If the desire to have another baby is going to rear its head, it's going to happen while I'm holding that sweet little man.So far, though I love him with abandon, my uterus is quiet.When people used to ask me if we were going to have more children, the emphatic "no" that came from my mouth always surprised me. It's like my brain knew something my heart didn't, because my heart just wasn't ready to close that particular door for good. But lately, especially with the arrival of a new round of babies among family and friends, I realize that while I was struggling with how to close that particular door, somehow it had shut on its own.
How do you decide when your family is complete? Elizabeth Pantley recently wrote an article about the decision-making process and things to consider whether you've got one kid or nine. iVillage also covers the topic, with 10 questions you can ask yourself to help you with your decision. Heck, you can even take a quiz that might help you sort out the pros and cons. But at the website HavingThreeKids, author Jennifer points out that logic doesn't always have a lot to do with it: "I had this nagging sense that something was missing. I'd look at our dining room table and think, if we don't have another kid, there's always going to be another place at our table that someone should be sitting in." Other moms, like this one, can't imagine loving another child as much as the one the already have. These stories are proof positive that the idea of "complete" is different for every family, for every mother. Knowing that the population of our household is firmly set at four, this Mother's Day has me in a more reflective mood than usual. I know now that those baby days are behind us, and I can only hope that I enjoyed them to their fullest. But right now, I have these two tiny and amazing girls to cherish. One loves flowers and has plucked every tulip from my garden. The other puts on a tutu every single morning and peels any bananas I forget to put out of her reach. These are the days of my young motherhood; knowing that there are no more babies in my future makes this time all the more precious.Whether you decided to stop after one child, two, three or more -- how did you know that your family was complete?Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments
Posted at http://feeds.bloggingbaby.com/~r/weblogs...283274863/
Comments: http://www.parentdish.com/2008/05/04/clo.../#comments
How do you decide when your family is complete? Elizabeth Pantley recently wrote an article about the decision-making process and things to consider whether you've got one kid or nine. iVillage also covers the topic, with 10 questions you can ask yourself to help you with your decision. Heck, you can even take a quiz that might help you sort out the pros and cons. But at the website HavingThreeKids, author Jennifer points out that logic doesn't always have a lot to do with it: "I had this nagging sense that something was missing. I'd look at our dining room table and think, if we don't have another kid, there's always going to be another place at our table that someone should be sitting in." Other moms, like this one, can't imagine loving another child as much as the one the already have. These stories are proof positive that the idea of "complete" is different for every family, for every mother. Knowing that the population of our household is firmly set at four, this Mother's Day has me in a more reflective mood than usual. I know now that those baby days are behind us, and I can only hope that I enjoyed them to their fullest. But right now, I have these two tiny and amazing girls to cherish. One loves flowers and has plucked every tulip from my garden. The other puts on a tutu every single morning and peels any bananas I forget to put out of her reach. These are the days of my young motherhood; knowing that there are no more babies in my future makes this time all the more precious.Whether you decided to stop after one child, two, three or more -- how did you know that your family was complete?Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments
Posted at http://feeds.bloggingbaby.com/~r/weblogs...283274863/
Comments: http://www.parentdish.com/2008/05/04/clo.../#comments