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Filed under: Just for moms, Just for dads, Love & sexMira Kirshenbaum is an experienced marriage therapist who has written a book in which she explores the positive side of cheating. She's not talking about fudging the numbers on your golf score, but rather the sneaking-around -behind-your-significant-other's-back kind of cheating. In her book, When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum insists that most philanderers are good people who just need love and that having the "right kind" of affair can "jolt people from their inertia." "You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator," she says.Okay, so your marriage is in its death throes and in order to save it, you go out and get busy with a stranger. That's all fine and dandy according to Kirshenbaum. But whatever you do, do NOT tell your partner that you've strayed. Even if asked directly, you should lie like a dog. "This is the one area in which the truth usually creates far more damage in the long run," she said. "If you care that much about honesty, figure out who you want to be with, commit to that relationship and devote the rest of your life to making it the most honest relationship you can."Kirshenbaum's point of view might be a bit drastic for some, but at the heart of her arguments are an underlying truth: affairs happen. If I really try, I can get my head around how an affair might revive a dying marriage. What I can't get comfortable with is idea of lying about it. What about you? Would you want to know if your partner cheated? Would you tell if you did? Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Posted on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:02:00 EST at http://www.parentdish.com/2008/06/09/cou...-marriage/
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